My oldest is turning 4 next week-seems impossible, but it’s true. He’s at the age now where kids are starting to have parties. I thought maybe we could squeak out one more year before we have a party, but he knows too much. It’s not the kids or the parents or anything like that. It’s my internal battle between Pinterest mom and my desire to be lazy and not overdo it for a kid and guests who won’t remember it past Sunday.
I’m totally obsessed with this stuff…
but internally settling for the crock pot, disposable aluminum pans, and store bought cake. What parent of a 4 year old has the time to produce such magic I ask you? It certainly isn’t me despite the fact that I love crafts, Pinterest, Hobby Lobby, etc. I literally die and go to heaven in the sticker and paper aisles and cannot resist the idea that I’m going to decorate individual treat bags for 15 kids.
“It’ll be easy” I think to myself. “I’ll start early. Make one decoration every night.”
“I can always go on Etsy in a pinch and buy adorable things that other people have made. Yeah! That’s actually a better idea. $35 for a Robot banner? FU Etsy! I could make that.”
So, it’s been 1 week since we decided to have this party which means there’s 1 week left until the party. Well, I got the invitations out…thank you Evite!, but the Robot themed plates, napkins, and stickers (for my home made silverware wraps) are still in my Amazon shopping cart and the robot t-shirts I almost purchased for the entire family are still in my Etsy shopping cart. I’ve done nothing except think about how cute it could be if I really busted my ass.
Another thing that is hanging over my head is the food. I love party food. I love making party food. And I LOVE eating party food. I can’t. I just can’t. Seriously, I can’t even make dinner on a Wednesday night without melting down into a puddle of tears and olive oil, but literally nothing is stopping me from thinking “I could make that.” What makes me think for a second that I’m going to be making individual sandwiches for every guest, wrapping them in wax paper and that cute stripy natural string?
Which of you isn’t just waiting to be invited to a party where that happens?
I could just order stuff and have my parents be in charge of picking it up for me, but then I look at the catering menu for a sandwich shop and I think…”I could make that.”
Additionally, our house has been in a state of renovation for the last 2 1/2 years and will likely continue for at least another year. Right now our focus, and what we’ve slowly been doing is REMOVING OUR SCREEN PORCH. Great idea Lindsey, lets have a backyard party with kids around a dilapidated screen porch. BRAVO! Maybe I should just make it a construction themed party and give everyone a hard hat and hammer when they arrive. It’ll be like the opposite of a Barn Raising. We’ll fill the Bagster up with balloons to start and the goal will be to pop them all with rusty nails, corrugated metal, and splintered wood. Sweet! You think Etsy has any cute party banners for that?
And then there’s the toy stress. Is my son going to get toys for his birthday? Absolutely. Will they be F*@#ing awesome to him and will the whole experience be just exactly what any 4 year old boy could ever want? Totally! In all of the excitement will he forget to say Thank You to everyone during his group present opening? Sorry, but Yes! Will I have to find a home for all of these toys? Yeeeeeeees.
I’ll never forget my sister’s 4th birthday party. Maybe it was 5? Lets go with 4 because this is totally something a 4 year old would say. So, she opened a package of Play Doh which incidentally I LOVE unlike many parents, and before the Thank You, before the Ooohs and Aaahs she says “my mommy doesn’t like it when I play with Play Doh”. It’s true. My mom totally didn’t let us play with Play Doh because our entire house was carpeted (even the kitchen…yup) and I’m pretty sure she thought it would get stuck in the carpet or something. But, being 8 I knew that was so NOT what you say to someone who so graciously brought you a gift that they were so excited to see you open. Seriously, the thought of that happening gives me nightmares. Luckily, being the mess that I am, about the only thing I won’t let my kids play with is sharp knives. They have to be pretty sharp though.
So, then I start to think about everything that I have accomplished and I start to feel better about myself…for a couple of seconds. I got my living room bookshelves styled. Yay! I painted my super cute side table from black to aqua and bought a plant for it. Yay! I painted the used playscape we bought a couple months ago. Yay! I cleaned out my craft closet in the baby’s room to make room for that little bundle of joy. Double Yay! Then I realize that nobody cares and none of that has ANYTHING to do with a 4 year olds robot themed birthday party.
Oh! I reserved the bouncy house, because obviously I can’t make that!
So, this kid is going to have the best robot themed party with basically no robots (except the invitation), because I guess this year robots aren’t as popular as Ninja Turtles, Frozen, Star Wars Rebels (whatever the hell that is), or anything nautical. Nautical! His first birthday was a nautical theme and I couldn’t find a damn striped napkin within 50 miles. NOW? Now, I can buy everything at Marshalls for about $10.
For those of you planning a party about 4 years from now, keep robots in mind. They’re going to be big!