Tag: work

Hands on Belly

Belly Rubs: A Horror Story

Hands on Belly
Dun-nun. Dun-nun.


How to begin this story? I was pregnant. I was at work. I was in the bathroom, as usual. I’ve spent an awful lot of time in the bathroom in the last two years.

I was washing my hands after peeing for the fiftieth time that morning. A coworker came into the bathroom. She was from a different department, so while I knew her name, I’d never actually spoken to her other than passing hellos in the hallway.

“Aww, what a cute belly!” She gushed.

“Haha…thanks.” What else is there to say?

And then it happened. She walked right up, reached right in (I’m still washing my hands) and RUBBED MY BELLY.

Internally, I was blowing my imaginary rape whistle and screaming my head off. In real life, I was awkwardly laughing and backing away. “Uh, heheh, okay…Thanks…Excuse me,” I mumble. My brain was in emergency shutdown mode. GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT.

Now, I don’t have a problem with belly touching. Close friends and family? Fine. Coworkers I actually know and talk to? Ok, just ask first. Strangers? No. Bad touch. Unknown coworkers touching my belly in the office bathroom, right after I’ve peed, while I’m trying to wash my hands? Utterly horrifying.

I get it. Pregnancy is neat. I loved feeling those little kicks and somersaults. One of my favorite prego memories is my son kicking my brother’s hand, and my brother going “Whoaaa!”. But please. PLEASE. Ask permission first. You wouldn’t want me to touch your belly, so it’s also not ok to touch my baby belly.

And for the love of God, not when I’m in the bathroom.

Happy Friday, and thanks for reading!

Home Office

A Week in My Life: Building a Parachute

I returned to work after 10 weeks of maternity leave bliss. The fact that I still use “bliss” for this period of exhaustion & mastitis might give you an idea of how much I dreaded adding “work” back to my newly long list of responsibilities.

From day one, I hated the routine. Hauling my work bag, pump bag, school bag & cloth diaper bag out to the car, then the baby & car seat. It was like leaving for a camping trip every morning. Pump pump pumping every 2-3 hours. Trying to focus on spreadsheets and numbers and phone calls and meetings and oh, can you do this other thing right away? Rush out to pick up my son by 5:15. Dinner, nurse, bedtime, make his lunch, pass out. Start over. Life via hamster wheel.

I barely saw my own family. The family we had worked so hard to have. Work was fine, but my schedule made me feel like I was on a runaway train.  Something had to change.

Almost a year ago, I stumbled upon code by accident. Mostly because I wanted to start this blog and wanted to design it myself (typical). I took a web design class to see if I would like it, and became obsessed with learning to code. Months later, my husband got a much better job. So I jumped off the proverbial cliff. I quit my job and decided to see where this new passion would take me.

Home Office
Step into my office. No, not the “teepee”.

My routine now? Well, I could tell you that my house is always spotless and that I have a cocktail waiting for my husband when he comes home. But I hate cleaning, remember?  And my husband’s an adult.  He can mix his own beverages. 😉

  • Hopefully, I’m up and dressed before I hear “Mama? Mama?” from my son’s room at 7:30. If not…it’s yoga pants and a quick swipe of under eye concealer to the rescue.
  • If he’s not teething (and it feels like he’s ALWAYS teething), he’ll sit on the potty. Sometimes, he’ll actually go in it! Otherwise, he’ll wait ’til we’re leaving to take a massive life-changing dump.
  • We usually get to his Montessori school slightly late. He’s just moved to the toddler room, so I brace myself for the Mega-Tantrum. I guiltily shoo him into class and avoid eye contact with that More Experienced Mom whose son is perfectly happy to be at school.
  • I come home. If my house is TOO crazy looking, I’ll clean. Then I start working. Usually, I’m building a website, or working through my web developer classes.
Work Screen Shot
Let’s pretend I never get distracted by Pinterest or Amazon.
  • I pick my son up early. We’ll play. Or maybe he’ll have a tantrum and I’ll placate him with TV. Who knows?
  • We usually eat a home-cooked meal. I’m a big fan of making a big batch of something and eating it all week!
  • Then it’s bath/story/bedtime/lunchmaking. And I stay up too late. Always.
Bathtub Aftermath
The aftermath.

My routine isn’t that different. He still goes to school. I still don’t clean as much as I should. I still don’t make much money, although that will change. I still look up from my computer and think “Crap, how is it 3 already??”. In my mind, I still don’t get “enough” done. But my pace is less frazzled. My house is (sometimes) cleaner. I’m more patient with my son AND my husband. And I get to watch Sailor Moon by myself while I eat my breakfast!

All it took was jumping off a cliff.