“That’s all he ever does” my friend said to me as her son was completely engrossed in his latest Lego creation. “Come on, lets go play with the other kids. Come on sweetie, lets go play with the other kids.” I looked at her, smiled and laughed one of those breathy You have no idea how lucky you are laughs. Thats what I was thinking, at that moment all I could think about was how lucky she was that her son focused. How much I’d kill for my son to sit down and play with Legos. That he sat down and played with one specific thing for longer than a trip to the bathroom. I suppose, just maybe, as she watched me chase my son from Timbuktu and back that day she could have been thinking the very same thing about me. Maybe I have no idea how lucky I am.
Every kid is different. Sure they fit into categories of some sort like the kids with high energy, the shy kids, the focused kids, the kids with no focus at all, etc. Whatever your kid may be, there will always be times in your life as a parent when you’re wishing they could have just a little bit of that something that so and so’s kid has. Just a few moments of high energy, or just a little bit of shy thrown in with their outgoing personality. Sometimes you’ll wish your kid was just like the other kids for once instead of like themselves. A little less energetic because, lets face it, an energetic 3 year old is like an idiot college student on his 5th Red Bull and vodka. It’s very exhausting and impossible to keep up. Maybe you wish your kid wasn’t so shy because she might be missing out on all the fun just because she isn’t outgoing enough.
As adults we spend our lives just trying to fit in somewhere. In our jobs, with some new people we just met, in groups of moms or dads, or with the same friends we’ve had our whole lives. Just trying to fit in and feel comfortable all of the time. You know what? We can’t always fit in and not every moment is comfortable. As adults we think we know that. We’ve been through that horrible thing we all called high school or the biggest popularity contest with no winner. We’ve had jobs where nobody wanted to be our friend because we did more work than was expected of us, or had a boss that didn’t like us because we only did what he asked and no more. When it comes to our kids they like being me. They’re good with being energetic, or shy, or focused, or unfocused. That’s who they are and that’s all they know right now. Being embarrassed because they just won’t sit down when the other kids are sitting? That’s you. Wishing they weren’t the loud one at the birthday table talking about some story they made up? That’s you. Wishing your kid wasn’t attached to your leg right now not saying hello to the other people in the room? That’s you. Not them. Not them. Not them.
When you think about how lucky someone else is because of what they have or what they don’t have to deal with, remember that NO MATTER WHAT the grass is always greener. For every mom you think is so lucky because their kid isn’t the one having the tantrum on the middle of the Marshall’s floor, there’s a mom that looked at you on the playground with your adorable kiddos and thought you were the lucky one.
We all have our lucky moments. We all have perfect children for a moment frozen in social media time. Next time, before you think about how lucky someone else, is just remember that maybe you’re the lucky one.